Also, if you are going to date someone with a mental illness (or any illness) make sure you have accepted that they might not get better for a very long time, if ever.

Do not enter the relationship thinking that you can fix them or that they will be fine in a few months. Never do that.

Movies really give us a false sense of what happens in these cases.

this is important



As a severe chronic illness sufferer, I so often get asked “how do you do it? You’re so strong!”

The answer is simple: I do it because I have to. You’ve got no other choice but to be strong. That’s how you do it.

for those of us on our last spoon.




it’s waking up from a restless night of sleep, bracing yourself to face the day.
it’s willing your body to make it two more steps, so you can brush your teeth.
it’s compromising looking decent for having a bit more energy.
it’s realizing how tired you are…and it’s only nine in the morning.

it’s trying desperately to focus on your professor’s words.
it’s constant shifting to try and get a bit more comfortable.
it’s holding back the tears as you remember that meeting.
it’s nap time, because without it you would collapse.

it’s telling people no, not because you don’t want to but because you can’t.
it’s always feeling like you’ve let someone down.
it’s nagging pressure to try and act normal.
it’s your body shutting down when you do that.

it’s a phone book’s worth of doctor’s office numbers.
it’s lab work every month.
it’s eight, ten, twelve pills a day (or more).
it’s hoping and praying that this new treatment is effective.

it’s looking normal but knowing you’re not.
it’s judgmental glares from strangers when you take the elevator, not the stairs.
it’s misunderstanding from friends who truly do care.
it’s not fair, but you deal.

it’s giving up the life you thought you’d have because you can’t physically do it.
it’s seeing other people happy and healthy and wanting it for yourself.
it’s emotional and physical pain, twenty-four seven.
it’s wishing it would all go away.

it’s hearing you’ll never be able to have children.
it’s feeling inadequate and invisible.
it’s wanting what you’ll never have.
it’s the worry that something else will pop up. 

it’s fibro and lupus and hashimoto’s and crohn’s.
it’s CFS and PCOS and CAH and RA. 
it’s endometriosis and celiac and cushing’s and MS.
it’s chronic illness, and it’s your life.


i promise i’m not depressed; well, at least not in the sense that i’m gonna go and do something cray. no, i have a strong support system and for that i am eternally grateful. but it’s been a rough week. i feel as if i went from the mountain top last week to the darkest valley this week - and it is all because of my stupid immune system.

invisible, chronic, autoimmune illness has plagued my life. there are some days when i say that everything is going to be alright, that i’m alright, that it’s just another thing, that there is medicine for that. then there are some days, like today, when i’m so spent i can’t even make it out of the apartment. i use up the little energy i have on homework and have nothing left for friends.

one thing that i’m learning - and that my mom reiterated to me earlier today - is that i have to stop worrying so much about what other people think, because it’s not their body that pays the price for me pushing myself too hard. and she’s right. as whiny as it may sound, any person with chronic illness can tell you that if you push yourself just a bit too much, you pay for it the next day. and it takes a while to pay for it, because it creates this snowball effect of trying to catch up on the stuff you miss while you’re paying for pushing yourself too hard, and the vicious cycle continues.

i just want so desperately to lead a normal life, but that is an impossibility. the only thing i can do is make the most of what i have, and learn to love myself, to take care of myself, and to be all i can be. 

this all happened for a reason, i’m sure of it.
one day i’ll know. 

for now, while i try and conserve the spoons i have left, i thank God for specialists who seem to know what they are doing (even though i had to go through some crummy ones first) and for my support system, those loved ones who never fail to make me smile, even on the dark days. 

Not all disabilities are visible.


Every single decision of every single day of my life is dictated by making what appear to most people as silly little harmless choices, but to me are huge decisions. Do I make breakfast or do I save that spoon for taking care in choosing clothing that is societally acceptable? (e.g. not sweatpants and whatever happens to be closest to my bed.) When I was in school it was do I cook or do I study. Now it’s do I cook or do I clean the house? Do I try and save up my spoons so that I can go out and see my friend’s band on Friday night knowing full well that I will be completely and utterly wiped out for at least 3 or 4 days afterwards?

Some people know. Or at least they know I’m disabled. The Service Dog is a giveaway. But they don’t understand how big of an impact it is on my life or why my house looks like the aftermath of a tornado or why it is so hard for me to fucking feed myself properly on a daily basis, let alone drag my ass out of the house.

These things are very very real. You probably know someone struggling with a chronic illness or invisible disability. (For information about Spoon Theory, i.e. why we’re talking in “spoons” please read Christine Miserandino's amazing post on the subject here.)



What to do when your friend is talking about suicide
What to do if someone you know is overdosing
What to do if your friend is hurting themselves
First Aid for self harm
Finding Therapy, Doctors, & Medication
Something Fishy - How will I pay?
Mental Health America - How do I find treatment?
Free/Cheap Medication
The Medicine Program
Find a Therapist
Insurance Issues
Qualities and Skills of a Good Counselor
The Difference Between a Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Therapist & Counselor 
General Recovery:
Extreme Hunger During Recovery
About Water Retention During Recovery
281 Reasons to Recover
Relapse Prevention
Dealing with Bloating in Recovery
Bloating, Indigestion, & Feeling too full
Talking to Others About Your Mental Health Issues
Managing Stress
Why You Must Eat
What is ED Recovery?
You have no obligation to be weighed
Learning to Love Your Body
True Facts Our Abuse-Culture Doesn’t Want You to Know
Tips to Overcoming and Eating Disorder from Women Who Have Recovered
How to Eat a Fear Food
16 Baby Steps to Help You Cope with the Pain of Perfectionism
10 Things to Do When You Feel Like Crap
Why You Should NOT Self-Diagnose
Substance Addictions:

Find an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting
About AA
Find a Narcotics Anonymous meeting
About NA
Just for Today
Helpguide: Overcoming Drug Addiction
FInd a detox center

Restrictive Eating Disorders:
Phases of Recovery From a Restrictive ED
Tips to Stop Restricting
Why You Must Regain Weight to Recover
Eating Disorder Support Groups
Gaining Weight After Anorexia: What To Expect
Dealing With Weight Gain
Binge & Compensate Disorders:

Overeaters Anonymous Meeting Finder
Coping with Exercise Addiction
10 Steps to Bulimia Recovery Workbook
10 Signs of Overexercise
Why Laxatives and Enemas Are Dangerous
Eating Disorder Support Groups

Binge ED/Compulsive Eating Disorders
Food Addicts Anonymous Meeting Finder
Overeaters Anonymous Meeting Finder
The “I need to lose weight” Mindset with BED
Eating Disorder Support Groups
Daily Meditation for Compulsive Overeating/Binge Eating
General Anxiety:

Identifying and Managing Anxiety
Exploring and Coping with Panic Attacks
10 Rules for Coping with Anxiety and Panic
Deep Breathing Exercises
11 Assorted Anxiety Tips for Anxiety Sufferers

Social Phobia/Anxiety

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
Social Anxiety Self Help
How to Bring Severe Social Anxiety Under Control
10 Tips for Finding Love and Dating With Social Anxiety

Coping with Suicidal Thought
10 Tips on How to Work Through Feelings of Social Isolation
8 Tips to Overcome Loneliness
Tips On Dealing With Depression In College
Antidepressants: Selecting one that’s right for you
What to expect with antidepressants
Family and Friends:
Tips for dealing with an ill loved one
Helping someone with an eating disorder
10 Ways to Cope with an Addict in the Family
AlAnon: Support groups for people who love an addict



Finding Therapy, Doctors, & Medication 

General Recovery:

Substance Addictions:

Restrictive Eating Disorders:

Binge & Compensate Disorders:

Binge ED/Compulsive Eating Disorders

General Anxiety:

Social Phobia/Anxiety


Family and Friends:



what i mean when i say “i can’t do that” - the depression edition

  • i am unable to do that 
  • i don’t have the energy to do that
  • i cannot wrap my head around what you’re asking me to do
  • there is too much in my head right now
  • i can not do that 

what people hear: 

  • i am unwilling to do that
  • i am being stubborn for no reason
  • i am being dramatic
  • i am lazy
  • i need you to repeat that only louder
  • i need a push
  • i don’t want to do that 

Bless this post

This applies to PTSD as well (and bipolar and chronic illness…. Yeah you get the point)