Long story short Admin #1 in the chatroom called something gay meaning it was stupid.  When I pointed out that this was NOT COOL we got in an argument culminating in this gem from Admin #1:

it’s impossible to argue with irrational ignorance 

which is straight up out of the “How to be a Bully” handbook.  Call the other side irrational.  This is supposed to be a SAFE SPACE FOR TRAUMA SURVIVORS. I did not feel safe especially when my sexuality was slurred and then I was bullied because I was insulted. 

So I sent emails to the other 3 Admins.  Only one replied.

From an email with Admin #2: 

I know Admin #1 very well for years. I am a gay male and she doesn’t ever offend me in any way. I am sure she did not mean to offend you by using the word “gay” with a negative connotation. As you know, many other people in the world do the same thing. The word gay has many meanings: happy, homosexual, and unfortunately stupid. Words are used in other countries for different things. For example in the United Kingdom and Australia the word ”fag” means cigarette. 

My point is that she is not saying your sexuality is stupid or implying
anything along that nature. I am sorry your feelings were hurt in our chat
rooms. We collectively as an administrative team work very hard to keep the
website safe, secure, and welcoming of all members regardless of their
background, race, gender, and sexuality. 

There were many MANY more emails where I was called SEXIST for having called Admin #1 heterosexist. And also told that my definition of heterosexism: 



 Discrimination or prejudice against homosexuals on the assumption that heterosexuality is the norm.

is not in the online dictionaries he looked in.  Well boo fucking hoo.  Apparently this makes it still OK for people to use gay as a slur because of regionalism.

(and signal boost the shit out of this please) 

Talk to me of Survivor spaces.

My current space is not understanding why saying gay = bad is a bad thing.  I’m trying, DEAR LORD I’M TRYING. Contacted all the other admins, on my like 6th email to the guy who emailed me back.

Where do you go to talk to other survivors?


I’m in a survivor’s forum and some asshole (a mod, no less) says that somethings “really gay” meaning that it sucks.  This mod then goes on to say that I’m being irrational and ignorant.

Does this sound like a safe space to you?  What the fuck do I do?